Fighting is good. You don’t hear that very often, do you?
Last night, I heard it a lot. My hubby and I attended a great marriage lecture that focused on how to fight fair.
Because, yes, you’ve got to verbally duke things out once in a while. Otherwise things get bottled up and that can lead to a messy verbal explosion. Or it’ll fester and eat away at your relationship.
The key is, though, to stay respectful during the verbal sparring. That’s difficult for sure.
One key thing that made great sense was the concept of perception. Most disagreements are rooted in our perception of the person or the event.
One of the most helpful things, in my opinion, is to always reality check what you’re thinking. Literally ask your spouse, “Is this what you meant when you said that?” Or. “I totally heard you say this ______. Is that what you meant?”
It’s a great reality check. It’s pretty amazing how we hear things differently than how they were intended.
And that’s ok. We’re not bad or stupid because we heard something different than what was intended. Men and women are just different. We see and feel things differently. That’s why reality checks are so important.
So, put up your dukes and start fighting.